I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
