Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Drunk is a universal language darling
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