only if we run a train.
done.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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