Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
