I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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