And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
