white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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