did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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