Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
