Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
