That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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