Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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