ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
