worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
