This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I love you. Go after that dick
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
