Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize