Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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