so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
