No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
