All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
