He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
