not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize