ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
