it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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