So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
