don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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