she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
