This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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