Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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