so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You work out of a Hotel?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
