So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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