Kiss
Puke
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
