He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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