puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
