i jhust puked up my retainher.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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