hotel room ftw
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize