just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize