There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize