yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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