hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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