I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
