Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
