if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The Olympian is in my bed
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