On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
