Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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