i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This is my gift to your gina
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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