I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
