I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I am available for nakedness
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
