the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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