Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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