is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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