You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
