there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I have fence marks all over my body
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
