You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She's the barista slut.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
