How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
