That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
