it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
