Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
