brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize