Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
