This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
