She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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