We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
