I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
