kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
