if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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