I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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